July 7, 2014
Put on my previous jeans today. They are torn in the inner seams because of, yes, my thighs were getting too big! I put them away and bought new jeans in a size up. But today I put these on even though they are torn but I'm just putzing around the house today. But they feel good and my stomach doesn't roll as much... little victories. I'm getting pretty good at ordering out and making things at home without breads, chips and sugar. I feel good but was reminded again yesterday that this is real. I went to the bathroom at the restaurant and my hips hit the side shelf and the toilet paper roll. Now, I admit that the bathrooms seemed strangely small but still! How embarrassing. Then I saw an older woman walk out, obese, and limping to the sink. I was on my way there.
I have always been wondering how does God fit in all of this? What does He think of all of this? I think I have come to the place where He is healing my body and heart. My body needs to carry be through this life. How can I fulfill my purposes if I am gone because I didn't take care of myself? It also reflects a poor self image and esteem. Do I care about myself? Am I truly a child of God loved? yes!!! Then I need to start living that way. This is making me reflect on my relationships and how I behave and make choices. This is getting real and good and a little scary because much is coming up. But no more time wasted. Even though I'm 48 tomorrow. No more time wasted.
Update
Day 1 - 235.6
Today (Day 8) - 226.8
Pounds lost 8.8
What should I do when I hit every 10 pounds? :-)))))
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